Dad Jokes about politics

Why did the opposition leader need new glasses during the budget debate?

Because his vision was shortsighted.

What do you call it when Britain and France draft a peace agreement without any help?

A solo mission.

What kind of tune does Keir Starmer's voice coach sing in tabloid newspapers?

A low note.

Why did the army general lose his budget fight with Starmer?

Because he couldn't command attention.

Why did the Labour peer get in trouble at the bank?

Because they took the access too literally.

What kind of lobbying did the opposition leader do when visiting the US?

He did some concrete work.

What did the Defense Minister say when Starmer kept his military budget plans hidden?

They were star-classified.

What did the oil refinery workers say when they got the £200m investment news?

This is a crude development.

What do you call someone who fawns over a Russian dictator?

A Putin-licker.

What kind of weather do politicians make when they visit allies?

A diplomatic climate.

What kind of dog investigates political messages?

A watchdog that keeps an eye on things.

Why did the MP get in trouble with his WhatsApp message?

Because he wasn't watching his words.