Dad Jokes about science

What did the dangerous synthetic microbe say when it looked in the mirror?

I can barely reflect on my life choices.

Why did the archaeologist's discovery about syphilis shine so bright?

Because ancient bones brought to light.

What did the astronaut say when his return flight got delayed again?

I need more space.

What do shooting stars use when they go shopping during the Geminid meteor shower?

A shopping meteor.

What did the Bronze Age cannibal serve at his dinner party?

A person course meal.

What did the Ursid meteor shower say when it arrived in the dark sky?

It's unbearable to perform without a spotlight.

What do you call a shy prescription drug?

A private pill.

What did the scientist say when Mars started losing its ancient landmarks?

We need to planet better.

Why don't IQ tests get invited to smart parties?

Because they always score low on social intelligence.

What did the tourist say when he kept missing the Northern Lights show?

I need to get my aurora in order.

Why did the Geminid meteors turn down the party invitation?

They were already booked for a shower.

What did the neurologist say when he saw a scan of his own mind?

This is a no-brainer.