Dad Jokes about life and style

What did the archaeologist say when he missed discovering ancient artifacts?

It's ancient his story now.

What did the gardener say to a struggling new plant?

Let it grow on you.

Why was Christine Mason's funeral so organized?

Because she was good at laying things out in concrete terms.

What did the painting say when it changed someone's career path?

Time to make a brush with destiny.

Why did the sister keep checking her photo albums?

She was looking for her lost chapter.

What did the kind stranger say to his blind date when he paid for her dinner?

You're nice to meet.

What do head lice hate most about middle school photos?

The class parting.

What did ancient culture do when it grew up?

It went pop.

What's the problem with bananas being too cheap in supermarkets?

They're selling themselves short.

What do you call a skin cream that's super honest?

A retinol truth serum.

What kind of doctor treats unhappy houseplants?

A plant therapist.

What did the sweater say when it joined a clothing rental app?

Time to get some threads going.