Dad Jokes about world news

What did the tailor say when Trump asked him to make a suit?

That's not a fitting way to treat people.

Why did the negotiation talks need to take the elevator?

Because they wanted the upper floor.

Why did Ukraine's financial package need STAR treatment?

Because it was Starmer's turn to shine.

What did Zelenskyy say when asked about his presidential seat?

He was willing to give it a peace.

What kind of agreement does Israel hope to seal with Hamas?

A cease and desist.

What did the German voter say when asked about heading to the polls?

I'm ballot dancing between choices.

Why did the e-scooter get pulled over at school?

It had no class insurance.

Why did Ireland's trade with Britain fall into the sea?

Because it took a pound-ing.

What did the Cook Islands protesters say when they couldn't handle their Prime Minister's decisions?

This situation is heating up in the kitchen.

What kind of peace talks did Ukraine offer Russia?

A piece of their mind.

What do you call lawyers who are being targeted by Chinese state hackers?

They're Beijing watched.

What kind of position did Trump take on the Gaza situation?

A standing position.